Clearly, an ongoing challenge for knitting magazines is coming up with 10-12 new patterns every month, year after year. Vogue Knitting is the queen of this creativity exercise, with its very fashion-forward, technically challenging designs. They just announced a web sale on all their patterns, so I spent some valuable work time (kidding!) perusing the 834 projects. There were some very beautiful pieces and some weird and bizarre items as well, ones that cause you to stop and wonder what they were smoking up there in their skyscraper high above Manhattan.
There were a handful that literally took my breath away, but not in a good way. Shockingly, monstrously, unbelievably freakish. So of course I immediately thought of you, my readers, knowing how much you'd want them agree.
So here they are: the winners of the Weirdest Vogue Knitting Patterns ever. I'll start with the slightly strange and move up to the obscene.
Second runner-up: Here's one I can possibly imagine someone knitting if they just bought their first car, maybe a cute little VW bug. I suppose a Juno-kind-of-teen could pull this off: steering wheel cover and fuzzy dice.
First runner-up: moving on but staying in the accessory category: egg cozies in the form of tiny sweaters.
Maybe a little old lady in England could go there, but otherwise, those who knit these should probably be institutionalized for their own welfare.
Third place: This was a tough one as so many deserved it, but I gotta go with the lampshade. Don't knit this in acrylic. 
Second place: I could see these popping up at a junior high rodeo somewhere in Oklahoma, or maybe it's the hat.
Love the heart on the back pocket!
And finally [cue drumroll], the FIRST PLACE winner, the item that wins overall for style, wearability, the kicky name and even how the totally hot model works it:
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The Men's Brimster Beanie. Only $2.99 for the pattern. I'm thinking Christmas list ...
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